Friday, 3 May 2013




I don't like Lawrence. He is the sort of individual who you may also know. Someone who comes across as a bit of a moaner and much to my embarrassment is not slow to criticise even his own children behind their backs. He once said, "I'll always be disappointed". Yes, he feels hard done by about the bitter pills of life.
How different from his sister Janet who is a delight to be around - sweet-natured and full of fun. Talk about chalk and cheese.
When they were youngsters their parents' fortunes changed and the family was obliged to move home from quite a nice town to a poor area many miles away. They both lost everything they had known - familiar haunts, places where they were known, and long-standing friends and instead ended up in a derelict neighbourhood, with locations they was unaccustomed to. Lawrence was obliged to attend a rough boys school where he was picked on as different and he never settled. He ended up in a low paid dead end job. He would never have admitted it but his negative attitude of mind is reflected in this quote:
"Ugliness turned me inside out. There was a certain satisfaction in bitterness. I courted it. It was standing outside, and I invited it in." (Nicole Krauss, The History of Love)
Later, he had to swallow the bitter pill of having to depend financially on his wife - who earned more than him. His frustration of failure on which he blamed a disrupted education stayed with him and the marriage eventually ended when she decided she had had enough of his embittered resentment.
His sister, Janet was a different kettle of fish. She had accepted her unpleasant situation and tried to make the best of it. She worked hard and got by okay. Not that she had an easier ride. Desperate to get away from socially disadvantaged circumstances she left home early but found loneliness and vulnerability in the big city. But she battled on. To my mind she is living proof that it is not events that harm us but the way we respond to them.

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